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Here are two words no woman wants to hear when dating

The minimum requirements of Australian women when dating someone have now been clarified: they don’t ask for much.

Alisha Bhojwani, 32, is a media consultant and asked other Australian women on TikTok what their minimum standards are when dating.

“I really need to get some kind of benchmark of what girls in Australia will accept as an absolute minimum when it comes to dating,” she explained.

Alisha believes we should all be “transparent” about our expectations of romance and shared her four demands.

“First of all, you have to actually ask me out. This doesn’t mean we’re hanging out. If you use the words hanging out or catching up, I’m immediately disgusted and turned off,” she said.


Alisha Bhojwani, 32, is a media consultant and asked other Australian women on TikTok what their minimum standards are when dating.
Alisha Bhojwani, 32, is a media consultant and asked other Australian women on TikTok what their minimum standards are when dating. TikTok/@alishabhojwani_

“The second thing is to choose a location. If you can’t decide, come to me with some suggestions and we can talk about it.”

The third standard is that their date must reconfirm the same day that the date is still happening, ideally before 2pm, and that their date should wait outside the venue when they arrive.

The 32-year-old’s demands were less about flowers and romantic gestures, but rather about clear communication.

The comments section beneath her TikTok received a wide range of responses, and while different women shared different minimum requirements, the overarching theme was that Australian men don’t put enough effort into dating.

One woman said that she only required the man to organize the first date, but that it should not take place at his home.

Another said she just wanted the guy to make it “super clear and obvious” that he wanted to date her.

One man chimed in and said he had friends who were almost 30 and had never taken a girl on a real first date; they would just ask women if they wanted to “hang out.”

Someone else said the “barrier is very low here in Australia,” and yet another said Australia’s dating culture is in the “trenches.”

Another complained that dating here is “worse” because instead of being invited to eat and drink, you are asked if you want to do something with someone or go for a walk.

Alisha told news.com.au the common denominator in the responses to her question was that women wanted to be properly asked out on a date.

“This means you shouldn’t use language that suggests you want to hang out or talk to someone, because the truth is you need to get to know the person before you want to go out with them,” she said.

“So if you use language that you would use with friends with whom you have a shared history and get along well, it can be misconstrued as disinterest. This leads most women to feel that men put little effort into dating.”


Alisha Bhojwani.
“First, you have to actually ask me out. This doesn’t mean we’re hanging out. If you use the words hanging out or catching up, I’m immediately disgusted and turned off,” Bhojwani said. TikTok/@alishabhojwani_

Alisha explained that she believes communication needs to be better when dating in Australia.

“I think we could all benefit from clearer communication and transparency in dating and I can imagine that happening, especially with online dating, since you don’t know the person and therefore don’t feel like you owe them anything,” she said.

“Everyone’s time is just as valuable as your own, so respecting that and being open about what you want can solve a lot of dating problems we see online.”

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