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I’m tired of dealing with my husband’s work colleague and his vulgar wife. But he doesn’t seem to understand

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband just doesn’t understand why I don’t want to hang out with his new co-worker and his wife. I’ve explained my reasons and told him I can’t stand them more than once a month.

During the week he spends time on projects with his new boyfriend, which is fine with me. But our relationship is starting to suffer because he wants to spend the weekends with his boyfriend too – and the wife is there and I don’t want to be around her. She constantly talks down to her husband, using words you probably won’t publish like “shut up,” “fuck you,” “asshole,” “shithead,” and more.

My husband says, “That’s just her.” I told him I didn’t want anyone to talk to me like that and asked him if he wanted me to talk to him like that, to which he said no. He said it didn’t bother his friend, to which I asked him if he actually asked his friend that question.

I had a terrible childhood and don’t want to be reminded of it by hanging out with this couple, but he still makes plans with them. This is unbearable for me. What else can I say or do?

DEAR READER: Don’t go along with it. You’ve made your point to your husband and he’s ignored it. Miss Manners recommends that you openly brag that you have other plans, are working, or don’t feel up to it. If your husband insists on inviting her as a couple, he’ll have to find your excuses and endure this woman’s bad behavior alone.

Let’s hope she doesn’t try too hard to drag him into the fun.

Please send your questions to Miss Manners via her website,; to your email, [email protected]; or by mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.

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