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“My stepmother wants to commemorate her late husband at my wedding – it’s my day and I’m not doing it.”

A desperate groom is torn because he refuses to commemorate his stepmother’s late husband at his wedding. The family is divided

The groom is torn about the wedding day

A torn social media user sought help online after his stepmother made a demand for his wedding anniversary that he refused to comply with.

The worried groom-to-be sought advice on Reddit when his stepmother tried to convince him that he needed to display a photo of her late husband as a keepsake at his wedding. Feeling it wasn’t right for him, he rejected the idea, only to find himself in the middle of a budding family feud over it.




He told his story as follows: “My fiancée (28, female) and I (29, male) are getting married in a few months. We both lost our mothers. While my fiancée was raised by her grandparents, I was raised by my father and later by my stepmother, his second wife.

The stepmother wants a memorial for her husband

“So my fiancée doesn’t make a drama out of wanting to show a photo of her deceased mother. I do make a bit of a fuss when I show my mother. My siblings understand why I want to do that. But my stepmother and stepsiblings don’t understand.

“They feel that photos of their deceased husband/father and their deceased child/sibling should also be on display as they are also immediate family. But they are not my family, immediate or otherwise. They both died before my father met his wife.”

He continued: “My stepmother feels insecure because I don’t just want photos of my deceased family, but only of my mother. She thinks it’s a dig at her because I don’t call her my mother either and I’m not close to her. My father just wants his wife and stepchildren to be happy. The stepchildren say I should ‘include all parts of the family except here and not here,’ and they said that if they took the photos, they would include my mother with their father.”

Family tensions have reached their peak

Explaining his reasons for standing firm on the issue, he concluded, “I made my position clear and my answer was no. That only led to more ‘we are either a family or we are not’. My siblings stayed by my side and one of them said we are not a real family so it doesn’t matter, which only fueled that further. Then I was told I had to do this to restore harmony in the family and I should want to do this for my family. I told them I don’t want to do this for them and I won’t do it. They said it should be all three photos or none at all.”

Other users of the social media site then rushed to comment, reassuring him that his decision was the right one. One wrote: “It’s crazy that they are ignoring your late mother and trying to downplay the loss and her place in your life by throwing random people into it. What’s even more crazy is that they are now trying to pressure you into this ‘to restore harmony in the family’ – how about they remove themselves from your affairs at YOUR WEDDING to ‘restore harmony’?”

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